Masha Slonim: Interview with "tourists" Petrov and Boshirov is a cynical trolling in every way

All right, enough with the jokes! Both the jokes on social media and the interview with tourists slash entrepreneurs were funny. But all this is upsetting. So much lies in the span of 25 minutes of airtime! However, the lies had begun even before the broadcast when the editor-in-chief of RT Margarita Simonyan wrote in her Telegram channel that Petrov-Boshirov called her themselves, ostensibly because everyone knows her mobile phone number, including the flower shops.

We were also lied to about the interview being recorded in a Simonyan’s office. Judging by the interior, it’s not an office of a female boss, but rather some state-owned premises (a secret GRU flat where «tourists» are quarantined?).

It’s obvious from the very sound of the interview (external noise) that the interview was recorded using an on-camera microphone, not a radio microphone (although microphone clips are visible on the dark sweaters of the interviewees). What a blunder for such a rich television company!

It becomes clear from Simonyan’s question that the interview was being recorded on the same day on which Putin, speaking in Vladivostok, appealed to them to «come and explain everything». And they did. Only they didn’t come themselves of course but rather Margarita Simonyan was urgently brought to them to the Aquarium (according to Suvorov) or «Steklyashka» (Glass House) as those who work in the GRU call their headquarters. In other words, Symonyan was taken to a place where they have been held since March. They didn’t even have time to remove their jackets. One of these jackets was shown to us in a close-up – it must have been taken from a storage room.

But everything about this interview is weird. Why come to the interview on such a hot day in a warm puffy jacket «a tourist» was suffering in when faced with snow drifts in Salisbury back in March?

And now to the weather and another lie. The weather was terrible, there were no trains, heavy snowfall, motorways were closed, they drenched up to their knees, went back to the train station, took the train back to London, not being able to get to the Salisbury Cathedral. According to the meteorological website, the weather in Salisbury that day was quite tolerable with daylight temperature +5 degrees, overcast, but partly sunny. And although there were no trains, our tourists managed to catch one to get from Salisbury to London. And in fact, it was possible to get from the train station to the Cathedral by having a 3-minute walk to the bus station and then taking a bus Red1 or D1 that normally rush tourists to the closest bus stop near the Cathedral in 9 minutes. However, after that, it would have taken several minutes to walk to the place if they had wanted to see the landmark on the same day, March 3. But our guys gave up without a fight and didn’t reach the main purpose of their trip to England, leaving empty-handed. They turned out to be quitters. But no, don’t assume anything, they went back to «finish the business»! This business is not what you think, no.

«Tourists» have heard nothing about Skripals who were found on the brink of death that day. On March 4 they saw the Cathedral and even took some pictures there. Only we weren’t shown any pictures on air and a bold question of Simonyan about them remained unanswered. And this question itself was clearly inappropriate and wasn’t in the original script – the editing of the interview was so sloppy that it was hard not to notice that somebody was giving mad signs at the interviewer from the corner of the office! But the question wasn’t edited out for some reason! Lame job.

And here’s the main thing. All this, starting with the first statements denying Russia’s, Kremlin’s and GRU’s involvement in the murder attempt on Skripals, followed by Putin saying that there’s nothing special about this story, nothing criminal, etc. and ending with the RT interview, is such an obvious lame job that it seems there hasn’t even been any attempt to refute accusations in a serious way. Gangland-style ways like «prove it!», «where are the hands?», «no blood, no foul» now work at all levels – from the very top, people who give orders, to the lowest level, those who follow them. There are several inconsistencies, from a cover story about tourists who simply wanted to see the famous Cathedral in Salisbury to hints at a homosexual relationship with a single bed for two in a hotel room, energetic protestations of «entrepreneurs» that they don’t want anyone to mess with their private life. Nobody even tries to put forward plausible versions of events. That will do. The worse it is the better. It’s a cynical trolling in every way. Everyone is trolls – from the President to the «simple tourists».

To be honest, at some point I even felt bad for Margarita Simonyan. Even with this reputation of being «as bad as they come» and «a claw that has been stuck for a long time», she used to be a journalist back in the day and probably still has some memories of that. Is it just me, or did she seem to be nervous and sweaty, fumbling with an air conditioner remote control and a red folder from some other, not journalistic, life?

Or maybe it was just my impression, and asking such «bold» journalistic questions as «do you work for the GRU?», «did you have any Novichok?”, «did you have that bottle of Nina Ricci perfume?» she just cynically trolled her viewers like it does the representative of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs Marina Zakharova or Russian officials. It’s a trend, a new style. Only it doesn’t have anything to do with a normal politics or journalism.

A blatantly implausible cover story, a deliberately badly-shot interview – all this was done to make the world understand: «yes, our guys poisoned Skripals. So what?».

The world understood. Laughed and was horrified.